Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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