Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
