she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
