remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
