Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
