I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
