it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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