he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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