Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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