Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
