DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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