If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
