NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
