No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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