You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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