You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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