Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
