What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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