woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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