No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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