I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
