Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
