just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
