I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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