Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
