Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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