i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize