yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
