It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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