and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am midnight drunk by noon
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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