everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
