God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
