just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
