all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize