i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize