Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
