Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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