why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
