i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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