I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
