I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
