He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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