I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize