Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize