thus making me awesome and them whores
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
