They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
