Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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