i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
