youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
