Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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