My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
