dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
