"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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