So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
