when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
