I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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