come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
