sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Sober January is a disaster.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize