Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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