here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
