you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
