need another drink. this is the easiest way
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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