i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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