I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
