it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
