the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
why do cheetos always look like penises
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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