The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
