What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
