the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
