i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize