Apparently you make a good broom.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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