Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
