When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
