Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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