we have officially lost it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
