Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
