Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
