do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
