dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I love having hate sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
